January 2010 Blog Posts

yesterday was a bad day.  not as far as my diet (monday was the bad day for that) but as far as my morale.  monday i was just a little tooooo eager to taste those mashed potatoes i made.  that resulted in the low morale yesterday.  for the first time in three weeks the number on the scale had actually gone up.  stayed the same i could have delt with, but up?  i kept wondering what the point was.  i mean, why make myself suffer so much when one little stray can have more negative effect than a day of...

i keep walking into the kitchen...im hungry.  i just go in and pace back and forth.  i know i need to eat something...but what?  what can i have that wont stall my loss.  i know i know, eating is important.  but at what point is my goal more important?  right now i'm just stalling.  i dont want to eat anything specific...just to eat.  i think i might just go run instead...delay the inevitable. 

The thing i think i hate about dieting the most is that i feel so lonesome while doing it.  I know i am not dieting in a healthy way, and thats fine with me.  it'll be worth it when i reach my goal.  but because im not doing it right, i kind of want to hide the extents that i am going to.  the right way would be to reorganize my life and completely concentrate on eating healthy things, not concentrate on calories and grams of fat.  but counting things acheives faster results, and thats kind of what im goign...