OK, today is when I feel it.  I'm part of a community.  Tealady, do not despair.  I gained two weeks in a row and then I started loosing again.  I love when you post, with all the pictures and the bold letters.  Come back to your senses and try again, I'll try with you.

Naeemah I'm flabbergasted by your constant motion.  I'm still a couch potato and have to drag myself by the ear to take a walk.  You are a power of example and thank you for staying here.

If you are here, feeling that nobody cares, doubting that you will ever loose the weight, and plain hopeless, YOU ARE WRONG.  We care, we can do it, it makes a difference if you try.  Just keep trying. 

I almost lost it last night.  I wanted to binge sooooooooooooo badly!  I kept fantasizing about enormous amounts of noodles, or cereal, or bread.  It's not the flavor that I craved, since I've eaten all these foods while loosing the weight, it's the amount of food that I wanted.  A full box of cereal.  Two pounds of pasta with sauce and cheese.  A whole loaf of bread with jelly.  I've done it before, and then I purge, or not.  I don't know what's worse. 

I sat in front of the tv, with a line of no calorie flavored water and I watched movies.  Have you seen me drinking my water, you've thought I'm a drunk out of control.  It's not what I'm drinking, it's HOW I drink it.  I drank 6 bottles of agave lemonade with ice.  I went to bed and then woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.  But I didn't binge!!!!!

Isn't it crazy that this morning, the cravings are gone?  Last night it felt like I was going to die if I didn't eat!

My Holidays are over, and I didn't overeat!  I even lost 2 more lbs!  I'm really grateful and happy.

The fast of Yom Kippur was especially good this year.  We stop eating at sunset on Friday and we don't eat or drink anything for the next 26 hours.  Somehow, I always manage to complete the fast.

The first hours are easy, since it's the sunset, we go to Temple and go to bed.  It is around 2 in the afternoon that it gets really difficult.  This year, though, I went through it with hugs, a stroll along the river, a little nap and services, which were very inspiring.  Then it dawn on me that the hugs, the stroll, the nap and the prayer ARE nurturing, in a very physical way. 

Usually, when I break the fast, I eat two days worth of food in a meal.  This year I didn't.  I broke the fast with a cup of tea.  Then I ate a normal meal, like a normal person. I feel great!

It's been 16 lbs in 14 weeks, I'm happy!

Last week I gained .8lbs.  And the week before that, .6lbs.  That's a total of 1.4 lbs.  You would've have thought that the world collapsed, because I've cried so much that my eyes feel itchy. 

Today is the second day in the Jewish calendar. I did pretty well during Erev Rosh Hashannah, ate a big salad with brisket and nothing more.

Yesterday, during the services at the Temple, the thought crossed me that as long as I keep track of what I'm eating, and as long as I keep the willingness to keep learning about loosing weight and keeping it lost, today's weight is my goal weight.  I don't want to delay happiness, satisfaction and gratitude until the magic day I weigh 145 lbs.  Today the scale said I'm 156.7   Mmhm.  I'm 156.7.  As if my weight were my identity. 

I'm not my weight or my size.  I'm grateful, happy, smart and clever.  And I won't celebrate with food!

Hi RoxanaBoscabel! How did your first WW meeting go?  I would send you a private message, but I don't know how to, so I hope you'll read me here.

I hear a lot that what really counts is to stay on the path, keep trying, keep trying.  This time, I'm not only going to loose the weight, that's the easy part, I'm going to keep it lost, that's what's difficult. 

It's so hot! 96 degrees, but I went for a 30 min walk this morning and I'll walk a little more tonight when it cools down. 

I had my weekly date with the scale at the Weight Watchers meeting.  I gained .8 lbs.  Everybody at the meeting told me that such is the life of a Weight Watcher.  I thought this morning that as long as I count my points, go to meetings and stay active in the community of people who need and want to loose weight and keep it lost, I'm on the right track.

We' just got a letter, from the Copley Art Association, Angelo's art has gone succesfully through the preliminary round.  Can you believe that my "fat" picture is a fine oil painting?

I'm walking to my Weight Watchers meeting.  It's hot and I really wished I didn't have to go.  I'm just telling everybody, I'm leaving right now. 

Oh yes! Me, too!  I also eat for comfort, even when I'm not hungry.  Last night we were watching a silly movie, it's supposed to be scary, Afterlife, but it turned out to be just silly.  There's a scene, though, where Liam Neeson, whom I adored at some point, looks just plain old.  I started worrying about my own old age and my own old looks.  I asked Angelo:  If I ever turn into an old lady, will you still love me?  And he said:  You are already an old lady, that's what I like about you. 

It was the right answer, but the five year old inside my skin didn't like it.  So I ate.  A baked sweet potatoe, a Weight Watchers dessert, and a second one, and another. I felt full, sleepy, sluggish.  Went to bed at ten and fell asleep, with a full, full, belly.

I had all kinds of dreams, about being a little girl and being an old lady.  I'm fifty years old, I've never felt young and beautiful, until Angelo started painting me.  I know it sounds too simple, but add to that 42 years of therapy, an intense yoga practice and a lot of religion.  I just got here!  To the land of the young and the beautiful!  I don't want to be old!

It hasn't got away, the feeling of being fat.  Last night we went to a wedding and I wore a pretty size ten top and stockings with hight heels.  I have not worn high heels is years, because I'm afraid to twist my ankles.  This time I've even danced!  I ate the salad with no dressing and I played with the main course,.  Drank only water with ice. 

I just read INGEARS's blog.  I soooooooooo relate.  I was raised very religiously myself and grew up with the code of modesty.  Being thin is a matter of identity, goes beyond looks. 

Eating carelessly affects immediately two main areas of my life: my relationships and my ambition.  Instead of going to relationships for comfort (this includes my relationship with my G'd), I carelessly put something in my mouth.  Instead of creating something beautiful, or learning something new for a sense of accomplishment and engagement in life, I seek the quick fix of something yummy. So, yes, me too.  I want to be skinny.  I'll never wear a bikini, ever, that's not in my landscape.  I don't need to attract a mate either, since I live with my soulmate.  But I

still need to loose the weight to become who I was supposed to be in this world.  Thank you Ingear for your insights.  I read every single word you write.