You sing this to the tune of that old song "I've got a Basketball Jones".  Well, I've got a chocolate jones and in case there are people who do not know what a "jones" is, it means I am craving chocolate really, really badly.  I'm not on a diet which allows me to sub out cocoa beans or a diet chocolate shake for my chocolate craving.  I can't even go out and each a bunch of salad or meat or something to try to stuff the feeling away.

It all started with this mornings new exercise regimen which subs out my walking schedule with a recumbent bike schedule.  It appears to be gentle enough on my knees while at the same time (on the hill setting) I get a great aerobic work out AND a good hip and thigh burn--but after that, I felt like I really REALLY needed some chocolate.

I have  found myself enumerating the different kinds of chocolate I love and even contemplating the ones I don't like.

for instance...I do not really care for milk shakes when I want a chocolate fix.  I want to be able to munch, crunch and chew my way through a luscious piece of chocolate and depending on my mood it can be studded with nuts or rice krispies or raisins (cadbury fruit and nut) or nougat or caramel or air (that new hershey air bar which is like the old choco-lite bar).

When I eat chocolate--white chocolate (which is not actually ANY kind of chocolate will NOT do.

Nor do I want to eat chocolate flavored candies like "black cow taffy suckers" or chocolate ice cream bars.

for me, chocolate is a law and food group unto itself--I do not gain choco-relief from a chocolate jones when I eat donuts or cookies or ice cream or cake or some kind of pie or yogurt--no, no. HAS to be a rich, thick or thin bar of chocolate, preferably milk chocolate though I can be persuaded to indulge in some dark chocolate if it is of a good quality and about 72% (no more than that ) to 32% (no less than that) pure chocolate.

My cocoa is not chocolate and funnily enough, dark chocolate and cocoa or even fudge are not hunger or jones relievers.  When I eat dark chocolate or fudge or cookies or cake, I still feel I need some REAL chocolate and of course , having pigged out on pastries or cake, I can then eat the chocolate with impunity.

Has anyone eaten savory chocolate?  A lot of Americans are not used to chocolate being used in savory dishes but actually, when it first was used by Native people AND when it first made its way to Europe it was a dish used with NO SUGAR.  That's right--it was drunk mixed with water and very bitter or was mixed with meats --the idea to make a sweet really did not occur until the late 1800s when someone came up with the idea of not only making chocolate sweet but also of mixing it with milk.

chocolate is not the same the world over. European chocolate tends to be richer, purer and full of more fat than our chocolate.   The "milk chocolate" tends to also be denser.   This is only a problem if you travel--to go to say, England or France and to bite into a bar of local chocolate or even an American brand made for another country is to sometimes get a revelation--the chocolate may have notes of ginger or vanilla or even pepper or chilie in them to accomodate local tastes.

the weirdest chocolate I ever ate was in a bean paste in Japan, the next would be some chocolate in the Carribean which really was supposed to be part of a mole (a mole is a stew like sauce or gravy and can be made with chocolate or seeds,  it is spread over meat or eaten with rice or plantains)

I love chocolate.  I always will love chocolate and though  it is not as fulfilling, writing about it has taken the edge off my chocolate jones for the moment, so I think I will stop now and move on to other things.


  I was supposed to have Tues  off too but I returned to the diet early because I felt I did not have the control over my eating carbs that I wanted to.  I am not supposed to do that--but really, when you wake up and your options are either go back on the diet or dive into cupcakes and other stuff you don't really want but yearn to have because you think you have to wait over 2 more weeks to get--it is easy to see to be back on the diet is the only choice.

I felt like I had no structure.  So today, not really wanting to but desperately feeling I needed to--I cut the off days short and just ate chicken and salad.

it was not the best 1st diet day, as my schedule was hectic--but it is what it is.

Tomorrow is a fruit day--I am hoping to eat my fruit, do my day --drinks lots of water and yeah---I am going to try to walk some.

My husband does not want me to--but if he had his way, I'd never walk, never lose weight just stay home and be there so he could stare at me. LOL  Not gonna happen.

I need to get back into my groove--I am just hoping my knee can take what I am going to try to do to it.


Help me!!  Somebody Please!  OMG!!!

So I get up and recopy my food journal page for  my diet.

 I have to take 3 days off and yesterday was Day 1 and it was pretty intense.  I ate pasta (with meat sauce as chili) and brownies and hot buttered popcorn and ended the day with half a large hamburger topped with fried macaroni and cheese pattie (called at macaroni and cheeseburger from cheese cake factory)

I did not pig out--but on days off it does not take long for the weight to come back and the pounds to really add up.

To  recap I was at 184.5 when I got off the diet BUT by Saturday night I was at 183.5  YEAH!  Sound good?

Well GOOD     BYYYYE!!!

After last night I thought I better get on the scales just to see what the blank I was doing and yeah--I was already popped up to 186.5!!!!! 

That's right!  give me just a few brownies...okay quite a few and my body somehow gains 3.5 lbs?


WHAT in the world am I going to do?  I'm not supposed to restart the diet early.  I tried that once (actually I tried to just keep going and take no days off) but I did not lose more than 1/2 pound in the next 2 weeks and had to get off.  I am freaking out.  I can't go back into the 190s I just can't.
so what do I do?

I freak....then get that huge bowl of leftover mac and chili and heat it up and am I taking out my 1 cup to measure what I am doing? NO!  I have just shoveled 3 fork fuls straight into my maw nonstop-then I put the bowl down and started typing here.  I see the bowl--it is a very large bowl--there are about 3 c or 3 se4rvings of chili mac in there full of lots of ground beef, chili beans, rich sauce and large fusselli pasta not little elbows--it is luscious  (I made it myself)

The only thing keeping me from shoveling it down is the fact that I cannot type and eat at the same type (old school--both hands on keyboard at one time)

OMG--I am afraid that in my fear and frustration I am going to eat that bowl --I love is my day off and I am already 3.5 pounds in the fricking red.  TAlk about "rolling in the deep"  Yeah!   I should throw the stuff out and my brownies too--but I don't like to waste food.  I have to eat breakfast, but as soon as I started eating, I had this real fear that I would not stop until the bowl was done.

Guess I could feel a "what the hell" kind of moment coming on!!  If ever I felt I was in a nose dive it is right at this very moment....

good news bad news

GOOD NEWS!  I am at 184.5 on the scale!!!!!!  YES!!!!!!  This, despite not being able to really walk since Wed.  I did 17 miles on a day when I should not have but upon reflection I think the damage to my knee was done either when I tripped or on the many occasions I've had to dodge little toddlers when speed walking at a crowded mall (the time  and place set up by my walk leader)

bad news:  I am not going to be walking for a while, They believe have a slight tear (moderate) in my ACL  I am going to walk on it for a while to try to gain control of my knee (hard to support my weight continually especially when I get up) it does not really hurt so much as the knee just gives a little so that I wobble.  They don't know for sure because I have ruled out the MRI and the surgery --the MRI because it is godawful expensive and can't tell to the degree a tear is there (only surgery can tell for sure) and surgery because I am not a professional athlete and according to my drs at my age, to repair is a choice as I am not involved in sports that require a lot of maneuvering.  I don't want surgery.  I have too much to do.  I will rest and the other advice is to KEEP WALKING on it. Not at 4 to 6 mph of course.  The irony of this convenient injury is not lost on me--I was using walking as my main means of burning fat.

Of all the low things for my body to stoop to to prevent me from losing weight.

I was told that since I am not involved in maneuvering sports, that surgery is a matter of choice, but that if I make sharp moves or pivots to the left or right, I might lose my balance--

I don't want surgery. Whereas my problem may make the next month a bit of a challenge to walk, surgery guarantees about 6 months to a year to get my knee back in shape.

So I will be exercising moderately and walking--but not real fast and will try to avoid both little tykes running in front of me at the mall AND tree roots on wood paths.

OTHER BAD NEWS:  TODAY IS MY LAST DAY ON THIS diet  CYCLE.  For this diet, this means I HAVE to get off for 3 days and eat normally.  I am afraid my 184.5 will be very ephemeral.  I look to gain a few by Tues.  We'll see.  I am hoping to eat moderately--which means I have to watch my pasta--and I SO wanted to PIG OUT!!

BABY STEPS taking it easy on those workouts or the importance of REST

Some of us (like me) jump in gung ho then either fall back in exhaustion or do too much too soon.    I do too much too soon--whether it is a diet or exercise, this can actually hurt you in the long run.


Regardless of the exercise there is a period of REST that the body must have in order to optimally use the down time to rebuild, rejuvenate and repair.  Yesterday I hurt myself by overdoing my walking.  I was walking a moderate speed (around 4 mph but did it for too long, as a result, my tendons are howling in protest which means I am limping and can barely walk)

This is not the first time I have overdone my exercise.  I used to go crazy doing resistance training not understanding that less sometimes is more.  The thing is --I should know better.


If you lift weights or incorporate that in a circuit workout--going every day to the Gym is actually counter productive. Muscle is built up and or strengthened by being TORN during a work out. As it tears, we release lactic acid--that is the "burn you feel as muscles get microscopic tears and fat is burned.  We say "feel the burn" because we know that burn means our muscles are getting a true work out.

What many people do not know or do not pay attention to (people like me) is the down time, that actually improves a work out and gets more results.  I'm not getting into the argument of how many reps or the intensity you train at.

I am talking about the need to REST those muscle groups every other day or even for  two days in order for the muscles to have down times to rebuild themselves, ligaments or tendon and to strengthen. The very act of a hard work out makes the muscles rebuild themselves thicker  and more resilient--BUT if you never give them that day or two days off--they never get to rebuild--the RESULT is usually an injury of some sort--be it a sprain, bruised tendon (right here) or a twist or maybe because your balance is off you end up with a break.

Who are the biggest culprits for these kinds of injuries????  (NOT BODY BUILDERS)  most body builders or sculptors know the importance of the time off --it is just as important and necessary as the time training

Nope--the biggest abusers of their bodies during workouts are aerobic focused athletes. 
After all, most of them are trying to burn fat so they forget that besides oxygenating their body they also are doing minute muscle tears on their muscles just like weight trainers just not too the same level--they also are often  releasing a lot of lactic acid which is not necessarily a picnic to their muscles.

Joggers--shin splints, torn ligaments, and tendons are usually a result of over working muscles in the calves or knees or quads without adequate warm up or training.  Training has to build.  You don't start out doing 3 miles and you don't train and go from 12 miles to 17 like I did.

The body usually will protest and while you may get away with it once or twice--an injury is on the horizon. When it comes, it is the body's way of getting you to slow down as well as call a time out for repairs.

In my case, I overworked my knee by doing more miles consecutively than I had done in years.  I thought because I did 12 miles a day (broken up in 6 miles before lunch and 6 miles in the evening) that I was good for 15 miles for a day.


What I failed to consider is that there is a HUGE DIFFERENCE between running or walking for 12 miles STRAIGHT And running and walking 6 miles twice in a day.  The difference was in the resting time

REsting time is RECOVERY time.  I am training for a 62 mile in one day walkathon.  This means I have to be able to do 62 miles within a certain time frame.  OKAY.

But to train for it, just like when people weight train or rehab, you have to BUILD to that point.  From 12 miles in a day to 12 miles in 3 hours--you have to work to get there (maybe try doing 8 miles in 2 hours then 10 miles in 2.5 hours then 12 miles in 3 hours)  do that for a week or two (resting every other day)

then progress from 12 miles in 3 hours to 14 miles in 3.75 hours then to 15-16 miles in 4 hours.

the same is true for runners--you walk a bit, then walk fast a bit then run then after about 50 to 100 feet or about 3 minutes, you go back to walking a bit then walking faster then running again.  In this way, the body uses the down or slower times to recoup and you train your body and assure it of some rest time.

I now have an injury. My tendon is bruised and will take a few days to recover. On my down or recovery days I am doing light weight training and a lot of stretching--NOT of the hurt knee. I am resting it.


Experts say people who rest their muscles for a day or even up to 3 days between training often have and get better results than people who try to work out every day.

That goes for weight loss too--why?

Because damage to muscles also causes edema or swelling and when you swell it shows up as water weight gain. 
Damage it too much and you will get pain AND swelling and pain may prevent you from getting back into your work out.  SOOOOOOooooooooooo.............

TAKE IT EASY--words I need to practice as well as preach.

JANUARY LESSONS LEARNED at 187 point 7 pounds


Okay. So the month of January is behind me and some stuff I did right and other stuff I botched.  I think I am on track now but I do not want a repeat of some of the things in January.

This post is a recap of what went right and wrong in January and what HAS to change to make February more fruitful.  I figure it is best to reassess monthly if not weekly so that adjustments can be made as I go along.


Yeah.  I cheated.  Couple times.  Not great big cheats but big enough to slow down my momentum, discourage me and led at least to one long bout of "sneaky handfuls" of chocolate covered sun flowered seeds and almonds over a 3 day period.

I already knew my trigger foods but felt I was doing so well, that I had them under control this time.  STOP RIGHT THERE.  HOW does anyone control the biochemical reaction of a certain food on their hormones, sensibility and CRAVINGS
Yeah the minute I "thought that" I should have been suspicious.  I fell for my mind/body's joint venture to get me to overeat and to eat carbs.

We all know how that starts*  or do we?:  maybe with just a little taste of a forbidden food. Then  just a smidgen more.  Then we are back maybe for the 3rd time in one night--but just tiny amounts. Half a cookie.  a teaspoon of chocolate nuts.  3 chips, I swear.

Next thing you know--we are BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK.....on the second night.  and the third. Or maybe we are REALLY stealthy and skip a few nights in between.  The real deal is--between the "tiny cheats" and the time table, our body is not on a diet anymore. Either we are in limbo land between the land of insulin and glucagon (if we are low carbbing) OR we are eating just a TAD bit more in calories than we should or the wrong calories.

Okay--what to do? We hit a plateau then--even if we stop our sneaks and buckle down.  We want to be rewarded for our denial.  so I stopped my cheat and just walked and dieted. For about 4 days with no weight change.  What did I expect? Instant results?  For all my little cheats or adjustments or justifications?

in the end, only two  things got my weight moving again--changing my diet plan and exercise.

I did it by changing from low carb to calorie shifting.  I am still on the calorie shifting plan because it is a cycled plan.

My cycle this time ends on Saturday 02/11.    When it does, I will have 3 days to eat whatever I like in any quantity--then I am supposed to get back on the plan.  So far, I weigh 187.7  lbs as of today.  THATS RIGHT--the new weight I lost since I switched diets (almost 5 lbs) was done while in the middle of a plateau.

Of course the other thing I have been doing is walking my butt off.  I am up to walking between 12 and 15 miles a day at around 4.0-4.5 mph outside and around 5-5.5 (occasional 6.0 mph) inside (at malls and tracks)

Between the two the weight is finally on the move again but here are my personal takeaways from January:

  • *eating a trigger food (such as my one day pasta and fried shrimp fest replete with pasta, meatsauce, desserts and 1 breadstick) inevitably results in continual little cheats during the duration of that diet. WHY?  because eating such a carb load set my craving for carbs into overdrive--from that moment on, I was sneaking a few chocolate covered almonds, and sunflowerseeds and dried cranberries and even corn tortillas and hummus...ALL within my carb allowance but all guaranteed to stop or slow my weight loss
  • Even if the carb amounts of forbidden items are within your carb allowance for the day, chances are high that they will slow or even stop weight loss due to them starting insulin to respond.  You may not gain weight but you certainly won't lose it either.

  • There is such a thing as an incremental binge. It is where you do not go all out and pig out BUT you do sneak bits and pieces of forbidden food over a period of days which results in stopping the diet AND if added accumulatively is really a binge

  • Revving up exercise and changing a diet completely --even if temporary may be necessary to get off a plateau

  • Sneaky cheats over a period of time may make it almost impossible to lose weight using certain diets (meaning after you stop the cheating your body still will not lose weight.)

  • When desperately trying to find a remedy for a plateau--don't do too much stuff all at once because you will never know what combination was effective  (I don't know if it was the diet change or the walking or both that has caused me to lose 5 more pounds since last Friday)
  • If you have been following all of your diet rules and exercising regularly...and are on a plateau then you should switch diet plans after one week. If you are a very loyal dieting person, then rev up your exercise and tweak your original diet first--if that fails (after the next week) then it is time to consider getting off the one plan for a while and trying an OPPOSITE plan. 
  • NOTE:  I said opposite NOT more severe.  The more severe the plan, the more likely THAT will be your new starting point when you restart the old diet.  In other words, if you  lower your calories--you will have to continue to eat at the lower amount to NOT GAIN and will have to lower it further in the future to lose
The opposite for those who low carb originally is to do a calorie based diet such as weight watchers or calorie shifting such as Fatloss4idiots.

The opposite for calorie based dieters is to try low carb for a few weeks.  I have watched others do this before--almost always for those last few stubborn pounds this works.

For now.. I am stuck doing the Fatloss4idiots which is a calorie shifting diet.  I say stuck because the food choices are really montonous--the good news is that every 11 days you get 3 days off to eat how you like--the bad news is--I like pasta and since that is one of my trigger foods (as is chocolate) to eat it is to really have a hard time going back on the plan or trying to stop sneaking treats.

189 BABY

Ok. so I should not have weighed myself. Normally Monday is my weighin day for my diet plan (weigh in on Friday for our challenge) but for some reason, I found myself walking down the hall that leads to my scale and got on it--just curious after 5 days on a sort of reverse or contradicting diet.  And guess what?  I am down to 189 over the 190 HUMP!!!

if you read my other posts, then you know I was stuck on 192 after being "stuck on 195". 195 was  very frustrating as I was doing all I could and the scale would not budge--then I got to 192 and that plateau could easily be blamed on my mini-cheats that screwed with my metabolism.

Well, I took my own advice which is (when you are stuck on a plateau) BREAK IT by trying a totally different diet plan.  Your body will not be on guard for the shift and it  can be good for up to a 15 pound loss (though 5 pounds are usually what you get before your body also tries to put the brakes on that one too)

Since I was low carbing, I immediately switched to calorie shifting.  Calorie shifting is NOT eating less calories, instead it is eating specific foods in day at certain intervals --by doing this your body does not go into starvation or want mode as it often does on lower calorie diets--it has NO REASON to stop the burning of fat because it is getting plenty of calories--but what is happening is it is getting specific calories while at the same time borrowing heavily from fat stores.

If you want to know more about calorie shifting hit me up with an email and I will blog it--otherwise--just know that I am NOT on my low carb for this bit of dieting--the reason I do not just calorie shift is that it is pretty boring and the 3 days off (yes, each cycle you HAVE to intentionally go off diet and eat whatever you like) always messes me up because once I start eating my treats and pasta it is really , really hard to go back to dullsville eating for another 11 days.

But still--I am out of the 190's baby and into the 180s--okay!!!!



Has this ever happened to you?  You are plugging along on your diet or trying to plug along..and you lose some weight but instead of being happy about it--for some strange reason, you are frustrated, or even resentful or downright angry or perplexed?

I am talking about my weigh in for the challenge today (see the message boards under challenges for big loser)  I was at 191.5 and today I am at 190.5. But the thing is...I have never done so much to net so little in such an amount of time.

What do I mean by that?  Well back in November 2011, I had a plan.  I would diet right after Thanksgiving, then let up for Christmas, jump right back on after the New Year and be at around--I don't know--185 or so by the middle of February.

Right now in seeing how long it took me to get from 203 to 190.5--that is not going to happen any time soon.

I'm not a naysayer.  I try to be pragmatic.  Never mind I feel that sometimes both my body and my mind are inhabited by some kind of body snatcher.

What I mean is this--I measured myself about a week ago and my hips were down to 41.5 inches and my boobs were at 41 and my calves and ankles had gone down and my weight was at about 194--only to commit to this mega walking program and have my hips measure in at 44 inches (or maybe 43.75 If I cheat and squeeze, my boobs at 39 inches, my calves at 16.5 which is 1 inch MORE than they were last week, and my ankles are still the same.

WHAT GIVES with this musical chair FAT?

One minute the boobs are bigger then the hips then as if trying to find a home that both my body and I can live with the fat that was around my hips migrates up and the fat around my ankles migrates down or up with weird fat blobs appearing in areas that were not inhabited even last week--and HOW can that be when the *&^%$#@! scale shows a loss?  WTF?

I can't help but think about the fact that after a 10 mile walk this morning, THIS is what I am greeted with--They say when people have lipo all the fat cells are moved out of their body whereever they have lipo --never to return and as a result, people tend to get new fat in weird places when they gain weight again.

Well, I have NEVER had lipo and I'd like to know what are these new "fat pads" that seem to be in front of my shins?

..and what about my arms.  I don't need larger bat wings but yep--I was a 12.5 and now I am an impressive 14.0.  I am not trying for she-man biceps, thank you.

And what about this weird thing going on in my back.  Back fat?  How weird is that when the area measuring around my rib cage is only 34 inches. What the hay?

So I've got mixed joy/love/happiness for what my scale is saying--I want it all.  If I have lost weight--is it too much to ask that not only the scale demonstrate it--I do not want stealth fat showing up in other areas of my body.

Because it is not as if my body plans to really lose the weight or toss the fat--it is hoping to relocate it to a place that I will not object to as much.  I'd like to find out who or what part of me is in charge of this fiasco and kick its ass.  Seriously.  I think about all the walking--all the miles and you know what I feel?  tired.  Not really from the miles but from the idea that so much produced so little in results.  I used to not even exercise--just do a little Atkins or Protein Power and maybe my firm videos and 2 months later--back in that 8 or 10.

this old age stuff sucks a big weenie.  Truly and this incremental snail weight loss while my fat plays games and redistributes itself fools no one.

Yes I am ranting and YES I know I got off the diet last week--but still--WHY Show a loss?  It is like being taunted by my fat.  Who took over my body? I want it back!!!!  And I am tired of eating on diets and walking my ass off only to find my ass has relocated to my face.  LOL  Now there is a thought.

Okay--the good news--I am at 190.5 which means I lost 1 pound from the other day when I thought I was on a low carb plateau and I did it by briefly changing my diet to another totally different kind of diet   (NO I do not do extreme stuff like enemas, or pills or diet drinks , etc)  this was just changing up how I eat.

So I guess I could and should focus on that--I just hate that this is dragging on and on and on and on.  Yes I know I said it was a lifestyle--but I actually still see these days as a sort of prison--when I finally "live" my life, I will be able to wear my favorite clothes again--until then  I am doing a sort of penance and okay--I can accept that--but for the love of Betsey--uhm Johnson...can we at least have the fat leave the building instead of hanging around like some homeless bums? 

What does a girl have to do to let this stuff know she is no longer interested?

I am hoping to get into the 180s next week--maybe I will feel better--1 whole freaking month to get out of the 190s--keep in mind that on 12/18/2011,    I weighed 194 so the stir crazy feeling is not totally unjustified--I just gained a lot during Christmas --the times of cookies, rich gravies and all out gluttony.

Oh well.  Guess I should stop complaining.  at least the scale moved downward  despite my shortcomings--I just wish my fat would stop trying to migrate--it is not fooling me one bit.

13 miles today

I walked 13 miles today--all in the morning.  I first started out with people from the walking club and walked a 5 mile then asked for an additional trail to walk about 3 more miles. They gave me the info but somehow I got lost and walked clear across this park  we are talking miles--then I had to turn around and walk back the other way to find my car. Perhaps any other time, I might feel good about this walk--but I was hot and tired and hungry and it just was not on  my schedule to be gone from home so long or to get lost. Yay.  I don't know when I will go off on my own in this park again--it is a beautiful preserve--but when you have other things to do and are getting more and more lost--it is NOT fun.

When a plateau is not a plateau cheating gray areas

...did the weighin today that I would have done for my diet plan on Monday--still at 192 and holding.  Been at the weight since Friday.  Should have been lower on the scale given all the walking I have been doing  --all things being equal.


All things are NOT equal and though I am holding at 192 (actually 191.5 but the ticker does not record half amounts) it is actually more of a miracle and not a plateau.

I know it is NOT a plateau if:

1.  I have been grabbing at least  a good handful of chocolate covered sunflower seeds EACH day after I walk.*

2..  I have followed THAT chaser up with about 10 dark chocolate covered almonds each day when I get home from my walks

3.  I have taken one day off to have a complete pasta and shrimp fritti fest

4.  I have taken the time to EAT at least 1/2 of a steak and shake burger with the crispy bun which we know is processed carbs

5.  I have lived in a box of Trader Joe mini roasted gorgonzola cheese crackers since Sunday.


The truth is--not that I am at 192 --I am at 191.5 but the FACT is I don't DESERVE to be there.  I have worked this diet like a CARNIVAL CON ARTIST.,  I know all kinds of ways to cheat and minimize the damage--where it does not show up on the scale or even on my tape measure--where the confusion and result is locked somewhere in my screwed up metabolism which I AM SCREWING UP  by the games I play OH SO WELL.

Now--one of the things you should know is that I try to be scrupulously honest about my weight, my age and my health.  I really do weigh 191.5--on my doctor's scale but what I have not said and only alluded to is the damage of cheating.

I am not talking about the once in a while or every two week kind of cheating--I am talking about that gray area of cheating  where TECHNICALLY it is okay to  have a food item but really YOU KNOW and the DIET KNOWS ---YOU should not eat a food item because it is a trigger for you and besides it is not dietetically honest.

For someone that prides herself on being brutally honest most of the time, this is a HUGE FAILURE.  There.  I've said it.  Please understand that the Queenbee does NOT like to fail or even ADMIT to failure.

There was a time, just a few short diets ago, I'd have held my tongue, smug in the knowledge that the scale has not ratted me out nor has my tape measure.

I KNOW better now--(obviously not enough to not cheat but enough to stop with my own head games)  It goes something like this: 

  • When you have a set amount of carbs in a day to play with--I do not use my carbs sensibly.  I will eat meals that are ONLY protein and save my carbs.  Okay--nothing wrong with that so far.
  • I am superdietwoman--I can read a nutrition label at a single glance.  I know how to immediately see the amount of carbs in a serving, see the serving, deduct the fiber and know how much I can get away with for the meal and the day.  Sounds on the up and up right?
Then I know something a lot of people do not know--I know that to be safe, one should NEVER consume over 12 carbs per meal at a single time, especially when on induction OR when you have problems with your metabolism.  But I also know that the body does not operate in real time--there is a time lag between eating and processing information.

I can eat a food that has say--17 carbs, follow it with a chaser of protein, and not eat again for a few hours--by sending protein down the pike at the same time I ate more carbs than I should  the body gets confused.  Really confused and does not know whether to release insulin or to stay on the glucagon pathway.  Usually, It crashes gears while it waits to try to sort it out.  It is waiting for the next meal.

So for the next meal I eat protein and ONLY then continues on the glucagon pathway because it thinks my carb moment was a glitch...then about 3 hours later I send another carb load down, because...wait for it..wait for it...

i reason that eating 31 of those delectable little cheese crackers is still technically on the diet after all, after you take the fiber out it is only 20 carbs and I can TECHNICALLY (if I am not in induction) have 30 carbs on the diet.

Anyone doing math here?  I snuck 17carbs then I eat 20 more--all in the same day.  That is  actually 37 carbs not 30 and not the 21 I am SUPPOSED to be eating due to my resistant metabolism.

RESISTANT METABOLISM  yeah.  Let's talk about that.  (I really do have to go to walk but have to get this off my chest first)  The reason my metabolism is resistant barring all the crazy diet fads I have personally trialed, is because I play biochemical games with my body by sequencing my carbs. I am not going to go into the chemistry of it--but you get the idea when you read how I crash my gears to stymie both my pathways.

Well I have taught my metabolism some "Hella tricks"  The real deal is that after the first rationale treat in one day--I do NOT have room for another cheat--but I have done it.  Now--I did not and do not do this every day but I have done it EVERY SINGLE day after my pasta day.  I was doing so well--had not really cheated (meaning I did not eat over my 21 carbs but I did not necessarily always stick to only 12 carbs at one meal but I maybe did 15 at one meal at most

I already knew that pasta, rice and chocolate are my triggers--it sets me on the path like any junkie and like an alcoholic who is supposed to be sober slides back into bad behavior (and tries to minimize it) I have done the same with  my carbs.

I NEVER should have had the pasta.  From that moment on, I have been stealing carbs from my daily allowance and frankly bastardizing my diet almost daily.  Oh the weight has not shown up because my body does not know what the heck is going on--but I know--and I know why this plateau is not because of any set adjustment or water adjustment or any other kind of adjustment in my body--it is a clear result of what happens when someone (me) knows a bit too much for their own good and ABUSES that information just for a moment's gratification.

To stop--I will have to go cold turkey.  No. Really.  I will be eating cold turkey among other things--and I won't be visiting the chocolate covered almond jar or the sunflower seeds --well I ate all those so can't and for God's sake--I will stay well and clear of pasta and rice until I have gotten at least another 20 pounds off--because if I don't--I will not be on my diet and I will not EVER get those pounds off--I don't care how much I walk

BTW--another reason I have not gained when I should have is due to all the walking--miles and miles a day--just to eat a handful of sunflower seeds--and the real deal is--I was horrified but there they were--in my car, the walk was over--I was sooo stoked so I took some--rationalizing the walking compensated--WHO THE F--- WAS i KIDDING?

HEY--TEA LADY:  I am thinking if I had not slipped up like this--I'd be at 189 by now.

* technically, to optimally work a low carb diet, a dieter should only consume about 20 carbs daily  for the first two weeks and then 30 carbs for the remainder of the diet--you can actually go up to 40 without any ill effects (most people can) but 30 keeps you honest and chugging along--those 30 are supposed to be eaten in 10g increments or less--with a maximum at 12 for a meal.  You can still lose if you eat differently but not as fast.

I was gambling on losing slower but eating more carbs at one meal.  Two slices of low carb bread is usually between 10 and 14g carb so to eat a full sandwich I had to tweak the rules.


6 mph

I walked tonight and came it at 6 miles completed in 59 minutes!!  that is 6 mph folks.  I doubt I could keep it up all day--at least not yet--but I am really moving on!


For those of us who decided to incorporate walking into our fitness/diet programs, here are a few things I am trying to get as most out of each work out as possible:

Many people do not realize this but around the world, walking is the number one sport of all--and yes, it can be a sport.  Distance walkers are usually referred to as hikers especially if they often go up mountains or through forests or other areas with no roads or hard to get to roads  (but they also hike on roads) there are strollers who just slowly cruise neighborhoods or malls and there are speed walkers and just "glad to be out walkers" it is a sport for everyone with feet and for a few with prosthetics.  It does not take any special skill to "walk" but those who wish to power walk, walk up mountains,  do marathons or distance hike, can benefit from having the right equipment as well as learning more about walking as a sport.

  • Buy a pedometer--it does not have to be fancy, but unless there are trails or other marked areas for you to walk in, a pedometer lets you know how many steps you have taken on any given day.  FYI--most factories set the pedometer automatically to a stride of 30 inches.  A stride is the  measured distance from the front or back of your foot to the front or back of the other foot as you take a step This tells you how many steps you have taken in a day.  Be sure to check it when you first start to make sure it is working (some do not work as well as others.  A great place to buy these is at Target, Dicks or another sporting good store.  based on a factory setting, 10,000 steps is the recommended amount for optimal fitness and to lose weight--that is equal to about 4.1 miles.
  • Drink lots of water.  Water is to hydrate your cells, skin, hair and will help to flush out toxins, waste AND all that fat you will be burning,  A lot of water can help to clear up acne and invigorate you.  If you need to, add a slice of lime or lemon to the water to give it a bit of zing. Some hikers and walkers prefer gatorade or another drink with electrolytes in it--electrolytes are salts your body needs to function--these are often lost if you sweat a lot so drinking gatorade helps to replace this--plus there is sugar in the drink to provide even more quick energy.
  • Get some decent socks--did you know they make socks without seams and made from fabric that wicks away moisture from your feet?  Well they do and that is exactly what you need if you do a lot of walking.  Any seams can rub against your feet and give them painful blisters and make them raw--these socks help to prevent that and also help to prevent your feet from sweating and stinking. Get these at a sporting good store--tell them you want seamless socks and plan to hike or walk a lot --the right socks can also have special supports or cushions to help prevent your feet from striking the ground too hard with each step
  • the right shoes--if you can afford it--it can be heaven--the right shoes can help your feet to spring with each step and save your knees from wear and tear. If you have a walking  or shoe fitness store near you, they will fit your feet to a certain shoe based on how you naturally walk and what kind of surfaces you plan to walk on--don't use running shoes or street shoes to walk if you can help it as they are not made for the continual repetitive striking of your feet on the ground or for the type of walking on trails and paved roads that you do when you walk.  Running shoes are very different from walking shoes and walking shoes may be  quite a bit different from hiking boots.  By all means wear hiking boots if you plan to go on natural surfaces a lot with lots of rocks or things to stub your toes--but when on paved surfaces such as in parks or malls--great sneaks made for walking are best.
  • A water bottle, fanny pack and a snack---if you are going to be out on a trail or for a walk that is over 1/2 a mile, you probably could use a sports bottle, a fanny pack (for your keys and maps and glasses and money) and a snack.   If you are low carbing, try to have a snack of high protein nuts --they have fiber as well as protein or if you can have fruit--cherries, strawberries, raspberries, and black and blue berries make nice portable snacks.  For others who are watching calories, these can work just as well, though you may wish to opt for yogurt or raisins or dried cranberries.
  • In the summer or when it is hot...try to plan your walk or hike in the early morning hours or the cool of evening--even when it is winter---you will really heat up when you start walking fast and it helps if you do not try to walk in the heat of the day--DRESS IN LAYERS--meaning a top with maybe a sweater or parka then your jacket--make it easy to peel away extra clothes and either tie them around your waist or put them in a back pack you carry just for that kind of thing.--when the bugs come out in summer, try DEET or another bug repellent.  Don't forget to wear a hat or ear covers if hiking in the winter to prevent heat loss from your head
  • Find a walking buddy or join a club---nothing works as well as having company and someone to be accountable to.  If you don't know anyone or lack a friend with the commitment, you  can join a club.  Usually, they have dues only once a year for printing a news letter (about 30.00) and have "walks" that they take almost every day all year long.  You can find a lot of them online in your area if you live near a mid to large city. If you live in the boonies then that is even better because there should be plenty of places to go for a walk! 
  • Get a walking video--some of the easiest to understand and follow (and some of the cheapest to buy) are Leslie Sansone's walking vids--she promises a simple walk for 2 miles or goes all the way up to fat burning 3 and 5 mile walks--you pick the one you want. Her videos can almost always be found at Target, walmart, Half Price Books, Best Buy, fitness stores and CD resale shops.
I used to love leslie Sansone but sometimes it is too boring to follow for long.
  • get some walking or trekking poles!--if you are a person who does not mind walking but really do not want to go to the gym or spend a lot of time in aerobic classes then urban or nordic walking is for you!  Developed in Europe, nordic walking is simply walking with hiking poles.  Hiking poles look sort of like ski poles or park trash picker poles--you use them to push yourself along swinging in a rhythm in time to your leg movements.  It is great because the poles help to support your back while at the same time allowing you to get an upper body, abdominal core AND aerobic work out all in one. This is really a hot way of walking in Europe, Canada and Australia and loved by American hiking enthusiasts too.
You do not have to be in the mountains to use these poles. The new ones are made to be used in your parks or outside pretty much anywhere--just be sure to have some room behind you so you are not swinging the poles into people.  They also have shock absorbers to help protect fragile knees and ankles.

If you have children or a new baby, get or rent a stroller and take the baby along with you--by pushing your little one in front and maybe having another baby on a harness--you are sure to get a work out as you move along and your baby toddles in front of you!

I've joined a walking club near my town and try to go on hikes and walks daily. I am also getting some nordic poles so I can get an upper body work out whenever I am on the trails.  This will add about 40% calorie burn to my work out and supposedly eliminates the need for ab crunches!

At first, you may find yourself strolling and not walking very fast--that is GREAT--it allows you to take advantage of tours or vistas your walking club may have. If you do not have a walking club near you--either start one OR use the stairs in your house to get a great workout--once baby is asleep or on your lunch break at work--try to take the stairs up as high as you can go and back down and do it at least 15 times or more prior to going back to work or doing other chores.  A guy from my husband's job did this and within 6 months had lost over 65 lbs--he also (supposedly) has a great tush now.

Start out just enjoying your walk--even if it is only a few steps--THAT is great--you can do a few steps more than once in the same day!  After about a week try to increase your speed until you can finish a mile in say, 30 minutes--then keep trying to go faster and faster over time until you can finish one mile in about 15 minutes.  When you get there, you will be going 4 mph and will be considered a veteran and moderate paced walker!

EACH day...give yourself a goal--it is better to have a destination than just amble along--it is great to be able to record how much you walked each day and see the miles add up.

Most Malls allow walkers to come in about 2 hours before the stores open.  Malls are great for inclimate weather AND often were designed to be walked!  Many of the newer malls have tiled or marked paths around their stores and often making the entire circuit (around one side and back around the other side) often equals a mile or maybe a bit more!  Great place to walk especially if you want to get out of the weather!  Just keep on moving beyond the food court and try not to stop unless you need a bathroom or water break--otherwise keep going!  It is easy to do 6-8 MILES at the mall if you put on a good speed and Malls are usually pretty safe places--leave most of your money at home so that you are not tempted to shop instead of walk--you can also bring your music or an audio CD to keep yourself occupied without worrying about traffic.

After you make it a habit to walk for about 2-4 miles a day, bump up your time and maybe even add an evening walk.  Remember: 10,000 steps or 4.1 miles is GREAT but the more you do --the more fat is burned and the more fit you become.

I try to do from 10-12 miles a day and try to vary my venue while I learn more about the new city I moved to.  I am meeting lots of other walkers and am developing a routine. If you are fortunate enough to find a club, they can keep score of how many miles you log each year--also many give out awards and have parties and special outings that you can go to or not--up to you.

I LOVE walking because it is the most natural exercise and easy to do and like the idea that I am losing weight AND getting aerobically fit at  the same time!

Ultimately, I hope to be able to do 20-25 miles per day--this is because I want to hike the Appalachian trail or at least parts of it.  My club has a 62  mile day hike they do once a year on the trail--I'd eventually like to train for that. it is not a race but it does take a lot of walking at a serious pace to get all those miles in in one day.

Hope this info is helpful and see you on the TRAILS.


 I posted this under the Big Loser challenge but also will post it here --cut  and paste is about all I have time for today:

Yesterday, after a pretty good work out I decided to get off the diet for the rest of the evening. for those who do not know--I low carb so what I am about to say is low carb heresy. I have to make this diet work for life and for MY LIFE and to that end, I plan on cheating. "Cept it is not cheating, instead I am negotiating a new way to be on my diet. Yesterday I decided I wanted some no salt, stone ground tortilla chips and hummus. Around 4:30 pm I had that as well as a handful or two of chocolate covered sunflower seeds.

In for a penny--in for a pound.

I had my family go out to the Olive Garden where I had salad and 3/4 of one breadstick, then some shrimp crostini and Shrimp fritti cooked with lemon and white wine. Then it was time for my entree (that other stuff were appetizers and really, I only had a few bites of each)

I love pasta. Today for me--spaghetti with meatsauce (I ate 2/3 of it) then dessert--I had the mousse trios --ate the lemoncello, 1/2 of a chocolate fudge one and did not touch the last.

Do I regret it? NO. I just know I cannot eat like that every day but once in a while, I am going to DELIBERATELY treat myself because if I do not--this will not become a life style but a sentence.

I got up the next day, ate sensibly and walked a portion of my butt off.

I don't dare weigh myself yet. I am going to weigh on Tues when the diet will be back in swing full blown and the damage hopefully minimized--but no matter what (unless I gained 5 pounds or so) THIS is the course I will take and expect I shall take a day off about every 2 to 3 weeks--then its right back to it --with a vengeance.

I'm thinking....such a plan is something that I can live with.


Okay today I actually got on the scale (though with much trepidation) I'm at a good solid 192. If you are curious of what that means it means when I got on my scale the balance was directly at the halfway point in balance and did not clang against the top (meaning I was a bit lighter and would need to move a marker) or the bottom (which means I was a bit heavier and so, also needed to move a marker)

I I am taking an approach that is very different from any other time I have dieted--I am examining myself and thought processes while I diet.  Within each of my posts, are just my musings for the day--a soliloquy of my dieting mind.

I am trying, (heartily) to consider this is MY LIFE I am living day to day NOT penance I am doing until I get to my goal weight.

I have dieted many times and most times, I was very successful --in a way. I got the weight off.  But I acted like the entire diet and my way of thinking was as if I was in a food Penalty box and passed months where I was in a total funk--focused on my diet but not living my life.  Not really.

Even now, I still retain vestiges of my old mindset.  For instance, I dress in sweats and work out clothes and jeans almost always unless I am headed out of town.  So what is wrong with that?  Well I normally "dress" when I am a size 10 or 8.  My closet is filled with all kinds of cute clothes that are like a shrine.  I have a "shrine" for size 8 and for size 6 and for size 10 and a small one for size 12.  I totally disrespect the size 12s and my size 14 or 16 are persona non gratis.

I don't do it on purpose. But I know that I do.  Whereas  you would find designer stuff under the 10s and 12s, most of the clothing from size 12 are from Target or Charlotte Russe or Casual Corners or even some jeans (cast offs from my hubby) from Walmart.

Clothes from the 10 and 8  sizes are replenished and routinely dry cleaned ...size 12 and up are machine washed no matter what the directions say and if they do not make it or are destroyed--I wear them to house clean.  It is a real ugly prejudice against my clothing and you'd think I transfer that to other people--but I don't.  For me, size 12 and up is NOTHING to ever get comfortable  FOR ME   --it is like it is my own personal measuring stick for myself.  I don't expect anyone else to have my measuring stick and I don't measure others--this is MY personal bar----- if I have some nice things in those larger  sizes it was because I had to go to a function and therefore had to buy something nice...NOT because I routinely dressed nicely at that size.

You'd think I'd have enough personal self respect to simply want to look nice no matter what my size, and it is weird--I don't disrespect myself per se--I simply feel I must not indulge myself at larger sizes or I will have no reason to lose weight.  (My carrots to lose weight center around my closet)

"do it for your health"  Given that I have had less colds or flu, no broken bones or even sprains at this heavier size such a comment would be given short shrift. Simply put--I saw (and sometimes still see) dieting as an arduous and odious task.  One I have to do--but never what I want to do and it is as if for the entire diet time--I am doing time...a sort of food prison or like I said a penalty box.

I know a lot of dieters who:

  • Associate dieting with deprivation
  • kill themselves during workouts and never workout again after they lose weight
  • religiously stop eating stuff they like but go back to it as soon as they get near their goals
  • diet specifically for an occasion or venue (like Spring Break)
  • have a closet full of up sizes and back down sizes
  • give away the "fat clothes" each time then have to go out and buy more as they head back up the scale
  • think dieting is something they do to get smaller then stop
  • plan to go back to their "normal" way of eating after they reach a certain weight or size
  • refuse to incorporate anything "normal" in their dieting because they are sure it is temporary
  • do not believe diets are forever or that they cannot go back to the way things were --EVER

..and I cannot say I do not still hold on (in the back of my mind) to some of those same beliefs. This is the very FIRST time my weight has come off at a slow, steady pace. The diet tracker says I am losing weight too fast.  From 203 to 192 in over 3 weeks?  REALLY? Is it on Drugs?  I used to drop 11-15 pounds in the first 2 weeks of a diet.  Now it comes off in slivers.
but maybe...that is much better.

Slow, steady weight loss humbles you, chastens you--reminds us that what we could do years ago is NOT where our body is now.  We are not the same.  Our body chemistry is NOT the same. ..and no matter what we do, there is no putting the toothpaste back into the tube.

That was THEN...this is NOW  --to take a page from the movie "Repo man"  No matter how svelte I get--I have to know that this is not the same skinny or thin I was in 2003 or 1999 or even 1993.  Inside I am different. What excess fat means now inside and outside my body is different--my hormones are different and HORMONES are not just related to sex or sexuality--they even control how we store or IF we store FAT.

To my mind, I have spent a lot of time dieting in the past decade +   but if I recount my time of "living" the great meals or trips or occasions or incidents--NOT ONE will be while I was dieting.  That time is no man's land--when I appear neither to be dead or living--just existing--plugging along, getting the weight off so I can live again.  There are very few pictures of me while on a diet.  It is as if all those interludes never happened.

Does this sound sad? Scary?  Familiar?  By now, if you have read my other posts, you know I actually use my blog as a soliloquy.  I post stuff that is on my mind--I muse and analyze but I am not in the moment.


If you are under 37 chances are high you may neither understand or care about the necessity of living in the moment. Because before middle age, you think you have "your whole life in front of you"  Granted, in this day and age that might be only a few hours or 60 more years depending on luck and your common sense and genetics and life itself.  Everyone over 37 begins to look back to see what was done or was not done according to those halcyon days when we were swinging on swing sets or playing with marbles or dolls and proclaiming what all we would accomplish when we "grew up"

It is about age 30 that we begin to acknowledge we might have been a bit too ambitious.  so maybe we won't be President or an astronaut or a model or a movie star or a millionaire this time around after all.  It is about age 37 that we also see our own trajectory and begin to take stock NOT just on what are dreams are/were but what we really have actually accomplished.  37 is about the time we take a good long look at ourselves and our lives and our mates and ...maybe it is the reason for that "crisis" it is the time when we come to some kind of term with who or what we are AND what we will be leaving as our legacy.

Curiously, if you lived a large part of your years overweight the measuring bar might be different--it is not measured by "when I grow up" but in " when I lose weight"

Larger people often have catch up to do, because they are also not living in the moment. Show me any person more than 30 lbs over their healthy weight and I'll show you a person older than their years--NOT in physical body but in mind set--they already know that you don't always get what you want --when you want it--and they already know that there is a lot of crawling before walking--when you are obese--it has to be one step at a time because so much is at stake.  though there often a lot of emotional baggage there--there is also a lot of maturity--they have done the 37 year old introspection at a much younger age because often,  they had to.

They have an advantage over  former skinnies (like me) who come on to weight later.  We have no compass.  This is not how we "were" so we diet, go through hell (or maybe the first time is kind of fun) get small and ???????  go right back to what we normally used to do.   People who have battled weight all of their lives FEAR the return of the weight--most of former skinnies don't fear it--we think we are back--come home--and now things and we will be like we used to be.  We are like that the first few times we diet.  Until the weight starts not coming off as easily.   For me, My old normal  was a pepsi or coke and a large bag of microwave popcorn for breakfast, snickers at mid morning, then a large hot lunch followed by the snickers and popcorn/cola mid afternoon followed by a hot dinner and in between all I could crunch on in Brachs peppermint hard candies or apple stix kisses or twizzlers.

All day, every day.  I learned in my early days of dieting that you can't go back--so I gave up most of the popcorn and kisses and peppermints (cracked my molars) but I kept the twizzlers and soft drinks--until I went to this one lady's home to discuss and view some antiques and noticed she had a large HUMONGOID jar of twizzlers on her counter.  We discussed at length our mutual addictions to the candy and she said she liked them best because they were fat free.

That is when I thought about twizzlers.  this woman  could barely move which is why I had to come to her and she had not come to my shop.  Okaaaaaaaay.  I asked her if she thought twizzlers attributed to her weight (which had to be close to if not over 400 lbs) she said she did not think so, as she ate very little EXCEPT for twizzlers.  I owe this woman a depth of gratitude. I did not stop right then but I did cut back on the twizzlers until I rarely eat them any more.  I believe she was/is my future if I do not get a handle on this dieting thing.

Right now, I have more hips and ass than I have ever had in my life.  Twizzler ass.  She also had Twizzler ass--no fat does not mean not fattening.

Anyway--how to enjoy the journey?  Or HOW do we incorporate our "real , normal life" into our dieting lives--meld the two so that we STOP thinking about getting off and start thinking about living ON the diet

This time, I am trying very hard to enjoy each day.  It is difficult because I still view my diet as temporary--something I have to do for a while then I am going to have such fun...

Is this anyone else?  (I already know it is)  Are you  enduring on your diet or living on it?  to live on it means you accept you are truly on it for life and live with it--not waiting for it to end in order to live.

I am trying as hard as possible to incorporate things I love into the diet--even if it means a day or two of set back--sure it makes getting to my goal harder--BUT it makes my days more meaningful.  By how slowly this weight is leaving me--I suspect I will spend much of 2012 on my diet--I'd like to remember the year and have good memories--which means either I stop the diet and go on with my life OR I begin to live my life and incorporate my diet into it--really.


This subject really fascinates me.  Not only because it shows our bodies are almost sentient without our consent, but because I have seen this played out soooo many times, both by observing my own body and by watching how others react or act on diets.

The most important TAKEAWAYS:

1. Your body has a different agenda than you do.
2. Your brain controls your outside behavior BUT is continually subject  influence by what the inside also dictates.  In short, you only have control over your body ONLY so much as you are able to manage the signals from the inside.  BRAIN POWER.  We all have it--but often we don't use it. HUH?

Did you know that the brain has various parts that generate certain emotions and perspectives?    Do you eat when you are sad?  Happy?  Angry?  Hungry?  Defiant? Frustrated?

ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?...................................


  • Your brain will make you pick a fight just so you can be angry or sad or frustrated enough to take your mind off your diet and "show" someone (usually yourself) by stuffing your face.
  • Your brain will bring to mind your dead child, your mom or brother or sister, or teacher or a sad movie or your miscarriage or your broken marriage or your molestation or your abuse or your dead gerbil that your parents killed and did not have the decency to own up to--or your adoption or your abandonment or your pretty friend who never seems to lose and has the fairy tale life or your one great love who got away or never was yours....HEY!!!  WHATEVER GETS YOU ALL SAD OR ANGRY OR FRUSTRATED OR DEFEATED AND INTO THE KITCHEN--WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET YOU TO PILE ON THE MOST CALORIES TO REV UP THE OL' FAT MACHINE.
SEE this game for what it is, and STOP falling for it.  Food never makes it better, it just gives your body something to do to stop the feelings then you are LEFT still with the feelings and now the added feeling of another diet failure--STOP IT.

OWN YOUR LIFE.  What ever it is, or was--YOU are still here---still Standing--take a long look at what ever was so horrible and recognized the very truth of having survived it--  SHIT Happens.  Some of it stinks more than others--but shit does happen--MOVE ON and don't fall for your body's trick of bringing crap like that up to taunt you with--it is a PLOY.  a RUSE.  A trick. Whatever it thinks will trigger you to get back to eating to try to feel better.

By now, you KNOW eating does not make it better or at least not for long.  Resolve to eat when you are hungry ONLY and learn the difference between emotional hunger (the type your body will mimic to get you to eat) and real hunger which is a result of no nutrients in your body.  BIG DIFFERENCE.


You ought to know by now that you are depressed when you allow the chemical signals in your brain to begin to influence how you think--  And what is usually your reasoning to BLAME yourself?

A. you are alone due to your weight
B. you are tired due to your weight
C. you are depressed, out of a job, without a mate, due to your weight


Our bodies knowsit does not have to MAKE sense when trying to convince us to EAT--because so many of us are on a type of autopilot that allowed us to get this big in the first place.


When thoughts like this come to mind, pull this post out and go down to the part you are feeling--SEE it for what it is. Even if the feelings are overwhelming--TAKE BABY STEPS--don't give into the treat or cheat just then--CONTROL what your hands put in your mouth--if it must be a cheat --do it when you are in control and when YOU decide.  The minute you start getting psychological bs from your brain is the minute you SHOULD NOT reward such a ruse with cheating.

OKAY--some of us don't have emotional eating problems--our bodies have other tricks too:

  • Holding on to water-your body will do this if you do not drink enough BUT Can also retain water for a lot of reasons, one of the best is doing it when it knows that following that for some reason, the fat machine goes back on.  (you see your scale STALLED so you eat)  your body learns very well.  When it is in danger of losing more fat, it may cause a stall by shifting around the amount of water in the tissue--if we are fanciful, we'd say it was doing it hoping you would get frustrated and eat--but t-hink about it from a mechanical view point--you know when you push the gas pedal the car goes--the more you push it down the faster it goes--your car is not prescient--it cannot think--but it can RESPOND. Your body is the same way
When we diet, we are teaching our bodies new ways to adapt to changing stimuli or conditions. So if you have a stall and then you binge or quit--your body begins to see a pattern and EXPLOITS it.

Try not to teach your body new tricks--because the more it learns, the harder it will be to lose weight the next time--and the more severe your tricks (and therefore your diet) will have to be to work.

Which brings me to one of the dangers of low calorie dieting:

Low calorie dieting is on its way out. Instead programs that were strictly low calorie are moving to points or even calorie shifting programs. These are harder for your body to figure out and therefore to sabotage. or people are moving to good carbs or restriction of processed and refined foods and sugars while still eating normally

 But..WHY do I say Low calorie diets are on their way out?

People are moving away from low calorie as a dieting regimen since Scientists have learned that the body keeps readjusting the "SET POINT"  This is the point in your dieting when your body meets your needs and then has to burn fat to do what it needs to do.  When you low calorie diet, your body can eventually learn to operate on the lesser amount.

this means if you normally need 1600 calories to keep your weight and not burn fat, then you work out you can lose just be eating say--1200 calories--BUT if you do it long enough, your body learns how to keep your weight and not burn fat on 1200 calories--then you have to bump up your exercise and maybe eat 900 calories to lose weight--BUT..

Then your body learns to just survive on your 900 calories---pretty soon, you have entered the nightmare of 750 or lower in calories and worst of all, you gain back ALL of your weight and then some extra.

At that point, your body has learned to secure your basal metabolic rate at a very low level and you probably are developing some sort of Metabolic resistance.   When you read about people weighing over 400 lbs and having a lap band or something else and only getting a teaspoon of food per meal, this is NOT about them never dieting--it is the result of low cal dieting TOO MUCH until their body can maintain even when they are starving nutrionally and can do it for months. When that happens, no matter what they eat, they either do not lose or GAIN and there you go---.

This has been scientifically PROVEN to be the case--not hype.  This is why responsible  diets will usually state that you should not go down below 1000 calories--so be careful if this seems to be your problem --you will know you have some kind of metabolic problem when you diet for over a month and lose only 1 pound or so--no matter how much you exercise or what you eat  (presuming you are honest and do not cheat)

So what is METABOLIC RESISTANCE AND WHO CARES?  Metabolic resistance is when your body has become one very smart cookie. It is on to your tricks and therefore develops a few of its own to minimize weight loss:

  • Make you tired.  Tired people do not exercise much.  You will think it is the diet--it might be--but more likely it is your body slowing your metabolism WAAAAAAY down so it has to use less energy AND it keeps you from expending energy. That way, it can store what you eat as fat no matter how few calories that it
  • Your body will start having aches--muscle aches, tummy aches, head aches--ANYTHING to derail you from the diet. Hey if it works and they can get the brain to do it--your body will  GO FOR IT.
  • your body will start playing the sympathy, anger, frustration cards--whatever gets you so mad and overwrought that you are back in the food trough.
We need to understand that many parts of our body operate without any input from us--we also need to understand that since the communication with our own bodies is poor--we often work against each other. THIS is why we can get cancer or our bodies can take aneorexia or some other illness so far--we have no way of letting it know that what it is doing is killing us.

But we do have to communicate with our bodies.  In much the way signing was developed to speak to people who could not hear or speak, we HAVE to develop a way to communicate with our bodies that do not necessitate speech. HOW can we let it know that we are only losing weight for our health?  (Please do not attempt to tell your body you are losing weight for looks--that is a no-concept) it MUST somehow be communicated that you are doing it for HEALTH or viability of the body.
I have to go--tomorrow I will keep this one topic going because it is necessary that if we think we can just "diet" and that is it, we come to terms about what we can and cannot do without somehow getting our bodies to cooperate.